Julianne Hasetta
by lutheranchick
Summary: When a teenage girl is chosen to be a newborn by a cohort of Victoria's who is to says she's wrong? A story of family and belonging as well as a significant betrayal is awaiting you. Who is hurt and who shall remain?


Hey everybody! Thanks to all of you who commented on my stories "Just a dream," and "Definitely a sign." I was so glad to hear that all of you are anticipating a new piece. This one took me awhile, and it's mainly because of procrastination. I think that because it is so long, there may be some missed typo grammatical errors. If you find any, give me a comment, and I'll be sure to fix it. Also, I'd like to say thanks to Kennya for helping me out with this story. I know it was a bit of a hassle, but I look forward to writing more soon!!!

3 Luthy.

{PS: Enjoy!}

Julianne Hasetta

Dear Diary,

My body is burning and I can't do anything about it. Doctor Cullen told me to stop by the hospital after school for medicine, but I haven't gone to school for the past three days. Therefore, I have no pain-killers. My mom doesn't worry about me, and it's comforting, because if she worries, there is really something to be worried about. She told me that the sickness will be over in a few days. I'm beginning to think that there are blisters on me from the never-ending sensation of hell running through my veins. However, that's not what worries me, it's what my body temperature is at, even though it _feels_ I like I'm burning. Well, right now the pain is fading from my fingertips, but you know what I mean. Right now my body temperature is only 53 degrees Fahrenheit. My body temperature has been dropping degree after degree every hour. My father couldn't care for me because he died a few months ago, murdered actually. There was a murderer lurking around the streets of Seattle where he delivered parts to companies. She got to him before the cops could get to her. _She_ also got to me before the cops got to her, but I'm not dead. Not just yet. There were three other people in the alley. They were in these long black cloaks. They stopped her. I won't forget _them_, so easily. I didn't go to school today, I didn't go yesterday either. Neither have I gone to Doctor Cullen for some medicine yet. I should probably do that. Mom thinks I'm sick, but I think I'm diseased. I think that the murderer-Victoria, I think her name was-was carrying an infectious disease. The same thing happened to my dad, only I was bitten on the back of my right shoulder blade, and she got his wrist. But what difference does it make? When my dad started to feel the burning, Doctor Cullen thought that we should amputate it, but my dad didn't want Carlisle or anybody else to catch it, so he simply went to his bed and laid there for about three days, whimpering and sometimes screaming out in pain. On the last day he told us that he loved us, and that we should ask Doctor Cullen what we should do. He closed his eyes and stopped breathing. His heart would never give its comforting beat when he held me to comfort me; and I was sure that he would never do that again. I cried for what felt like forever. My dad had been my best friend, the only one I could talk to. My mom wasn't one for worrying, but she thought that we would catch it too, so we burned everything he had touched since he had been home. It seemed as if we had burnt nearly everything; the bed frame, the old carpet, the well-loved coffee maker and the old quilt. The bed frame had a faded spot on the end of it where it came up on the corner of the right side because my dad's blue jacket never failed to hang there. The old carpet that my dad and I had played kinder blocks on while doing multiplication homework in grade four. The coffee maker that still had permanent marker on it from when I had colored it for father's day as a present. The old quilt that nana made for us when I was little, the one I used to hide in, curled up into a ball under the bed. The only thing left was the color in my eyes. The deep, sky blue color that was identical to my father's. Every other part of me looked like my mother; everything else we owned had no meaning. That means that we had to burn pretty much everything that reminded me of his presence in my childhood, _all_ in vain because I caught it anyways. Speaking of infectious diseases, I have to go see Doctor Cullen for medicine.

Sincerely,

Julianne.

I reread my diary entry. There was a lot that had been left out. I had spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself about my dad's death when I should have been elaborating on what had happened to him. I thought about scratching out the bottom bit to talk about Seattle a bit more, but I didn't want to give myself fresh nightmares of that night. I had enough already. I would have to sleep _sometime_.

They weren't just wearing long cloaks; their eyes were the reddest thing that I had ever seen. You know those horror stories that say that the monsters had "blood-red eyes?" Yeah, well; I guess that would describe them; except they had a bit of cinnamon in theirs, like a liquid cinnamon heart, only…freaky. There was that girl, too; but they weren't dressed like her at all. Their identical long black cloaks made them look even more threatening when looking at Victoria; majestic, almost. She wore a tee shirt and jeans even though it was October. The first one was short, at least two feet shorter than the other two that were on either one of her sides. They were coming from the shadows one moment, and surrounding the murderer the next.

It had been an enough fear for a lifetime. In the alley, my shoulder blade was burning with the creepy sensation that I felt now. I was also facing the aftermath of having teeth sunk into me. Total shock; I mean, who gets chomped on every day? The cloaked people had surrounded the murderer in a movement that I couldn't see. Then I heard two voices. There was a young couple, slightly younger than twenty from my guess, walking at the other end of the alley. I heard them before they reached the alley. They were either walking slow or not walking at all. It was hard to tell. It was the girl I heard first.

"Edward, what happened? Who is here? The Volturi? Victoria? I know Alice saw something and you're not telling me." My ears pricked up. Edward? There was an Edward in my class. It was an unusual name, but I wasn't sure if it was the same one.

"Bella, I brought you to Seattle against my will, and you have only yourself and your human hormones to thank for that," he said sharply. I gasped. Edward? Bella? That was a match that everybody in Forks knew from a mile away. It had to be them. They had been together for almost two years. He had moved to Los Angeles for a while and even though they had intended to stay there, he couldn't stay away from her. Still, they were at the end of the alley! They could help me; would help me! I wanted to cry out for them to help me, but I held my tongue. I thought that if I did, whatever had happened to me would happen to them and shatter their relationship. I knew that pain too well from my father's passing. I couldn't do that. It would be selfish to take their lives away too. If I died, they would grieve for me and move on. If Bella died, I don't know what would happen. Everybody knew what would happen if Edward died. Bella would turn into the zombie; just like the last time he was away. I wasn't close to Bella, but the vibes spread. She was practically brain-dead. I would never be able to forgive myself if I was the cause for their separation.

"Edward, you know that's not what I meant. I know you're only trying to look out for me. _You know I know that_," Bella said, her tone was soft, sorry.

"Do I really?" His voice had a tinge of frustration in it, sadness, almost.

Bella was silent. Something was up, and I thought that maybe Bella was afraid that Victoria would try to do something to hurt their relationship. At the moment, for all I knew she could have been an ex-girlfriend from LA. The silence didn't last.

"You know even more than I do that what the Volturi want most is to kill me," she said. She was going to continue, but at this point it was not just me listening. The people in cloaks and the murderer were listening too.

"You are right when you say that," one of the taller people in the cloaks said. It was soft, yet clearly audible. The tone he took made him much more menacing.

The silence between the couple was not filled with the apprehension of waiting for a response, but of complete and utter terror.

"We shouldn't have come," Edward said. His own voice was barely steady with annoyance. My own body was on fire. It was hard to keep quiet. I mumbled and moaned in agony. My thoughts turned into spoken word.

"How come you didn't tell me they were there?" Asked Bella, her voice amplified with shock. Edward was silent for a moment, and I wanted to twist my head to find out why. I couldn't force it, so I allowed it to loll on the ground, lifeless. He stood in front of Bella, bracing himself, holding her tight to his side, calmly searching the shadows for us. I was once again tempted to cry for help. The burning was getting worse and worse; I could barely keep myself from convulsing. I would crack open my skull if I did. His eyes met mine. He looked at me as if he knew that I was suffering and that he was going to help me. Then he was gone, and so was Bella and with no warning. So much for the whole 'helping me' idea. The murderer was gone too.

The people, whom I had guessed were the Volturi due to the taller one's remark, separated immediately. Two of them disappeared after the murderer, Edward, and Bella. The shorter one stayed with me. I screamed then, because I thought I was dead anyways, so I may as well let someone hear me. It was a new scream, one that scared me. It was shrill and full of pain; I wasn't in control of my voice anymore. Screaming felt good, as if all of the pain was going to go away in a matter of seconds. As if.

The shorter one stooped down to me. I was helpless on the pavement. I screamed again, letting my anger and pain poison the night air. I looked around me, sure that there was a ventriloquist making my voice come out beautiful, but there wasn't. I could just barely find my voice within the new one, as if I had tucked it away. The new one was smooth, but not as smooth as Edwards. I tried to remember my old voice, but it sounded scratchy. My new voice made all of my sentences sound like music, and I wondered what I would sound like of I actually _did_ sing. There wasn't enough courage or -self-control for that matter-in me to dare to sing at the moment, so I just stared at her in panic and awe while she looked at me in pure acidic hate. I wondered if she was going to kill me. It was then that I realized that it wasn't her face or her stance that made her seem so threatening, it was the brilliantly red irises that made her vicious. She was suddenly smiling at me. She seemed to melt away all hope, as if everything would have been better if I had just killed myself after my father's death. Having her look at me like that made me feel overwhelmed with sadness as she brought up my worst nightmare, a re-run of my father's death in my memories. His head falling back, limp, on a pillow. Holding his hands, icy cold from death were the last memories I had of him. I had lived through the exact meaning of bringing someone home to die in your arms.

However, with an unintended amount of grace, she steadied my memories. I was still wincing from the pain of it no matter what she did. It would always hurt. I couldn't remember a time when my memories had been so clear in my head.

She straightened up slightly, as if to make herself look presentable enough to be introduced properly. "My name is Jane. The other two were Felix and the other was Caius. We are part of the Volturi."

My shoulders trembled. How could she say it so easily? Didn't she know that she was in a group that was dedicated to killing Bella?

The blistering pain diffused from my shoulder. My shoulder was not the only part of me that was on fire now. It had spread across my back to brush my other shoulder blade with the pain. It was creeping up my neck and over my collar bone like a necklace. Ever so slowly it seemed to char my arm as well.

"Are you going to kill me?" I gasped in between the heavy breaths that I was taking to try to soothe the pain. It wasn't working. She opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't have the chance to. Felix and Caius were back. Both figures had a vice grip on either one of the murderer's arms in theirs. The murderer looked at me with eyes that were steeped with hatred. Her face had a certainty of evil too, but she seemed more catlike. Indeed, the way she stood when she was put down was even slightly feline.

"Jane, Victoria has…informed us that she has the common goal as us," said the first cloaked figure. I stared in shock. _These _people were the Volturi! _This_ was Victoria! _Both_ of the threats of Edward and Bella were here, staring at me, and I could do nothing about it. I felt horrible and confused. I was horrified to know that I could do nothing to help them. Why were they after Bella anyways?

"Thank you Felix," Jane said, turning to face Victoria. Jane looked at Victoria and she fell to the ground, wincing in pain as some wave of emotional sadness swept over her, making her body tremble violently from sadness. I stared in horror as the most uncaring person that had ever walked the face of the earth was crying because someone looked at her. I shouldn't be talking though. I had memories of my own. Besides, I was only fourteen for god's sake! That's when I realized that her glare must bring up bad memories like a key unlocking a door.

Jane straightened herself up and did not continue to torture Victoria. Now that she was no longer being harmed by whatever pain Jane brought upon her, she bared her teeth. In the dim light they seemed more ghastly than anything I could have ever imagined on my own.

"Victoria, I know how sad you are to remember what…_he_…has done to James. I now give you the opportunity to redeem your life, but not your captivity. With granted permission of the law, you are now entitled to avenge James's death. There is only one condition. Once James is avenged, you must travel to Italy and seek us out. If you do not come soon, we will arrive to…_help_." Jane cooed the words, making them found so delicate that if I had the chance, I would not have resisted. I slapped myself across the face for even _thinking_ that one. But one question remained in my mind. _Who was James?_

"How do I know that you won't change your minds? That you will let me live after I've killed so many people?" Asked Victoria, her eyes livid with hate. Her voice was so much different than what I had expected it to be. Her wild eyes and her catlike faced led me to expect it to be almost a chilling growl, but instead, she answered with the most girlish voice I'd ever heard. It was a voice that sounded like it belonged in a Barbie commercial or something. I would have laughed, but I was in so much pain and fear that I couldn't bring myself to come close.

"Then don't kill them," Jane said, raising an eyebrow to emphasize her point.

"Are you sure that-" Felix started.

"I am sure of everything I say and do, Felix," Jane interjected with a cold voice before he had a chance to object her new anti-Bella plan. She relaxed her face and continued. "So, Victoria, do we have a deal? Your life for the mortal's?"

Mortal? That word stuck out like a sore thumb. I immediately started to think of what exactly she was if she wasn't a human. Every creature in my mind came and passed with obvious exceptions. There weren't any that came to mind that fit. I was blank. Victoria gave Jane her acidic look for a moment, assuming that she was joking to let her get off and murder a human. Making eye contact with Jane without being tortured seemed enough to make her sure that he wasn't going to die just yet.

"It is a deal, but I need you to turn a blind eye to Caius for me."

"Consider it done," said the other cloaked figure.

Victoria's eyes were wide with astonishment. He apparently didn't make house calls too often.

"Indeed it is me, but we must all go before sunrise otherwise we will be seen. Good luck, Victoria," then the Volturi turned on their heels gracefully and left so fast they seemed to have twirled to vanish into thin air. It would have been cool if it hadn't been so menacing.

Victoria turned to me. "Hello sweetie, I'm sorry it hurts, but it will all be over in a matter of days," she said in her Barbie voice. "Here, I'll carry you to where we're staying," she promised. She picked me up, and the burning made my eyes swell with tears. It hurt so badly that I thought that I would never be able to use my body again. Limp and horrified as I was, sleep did not come as she lifted me out of the alley and cradled me in her arms. I was surprised that she could lift me; I wasn't exactly the lightest person in the world. She began to run, but she stopped dead in her tracks when we got to the mouth of the alley. "Shit," she growled, and it would have been funny to hear in her Barbie voice, but the fact that I could hear it rumble up through her throat made it lose all of its humor. That's when I heard the soft purr of a car on the other end of the Alley. She broke off into what could be called a sprint, only it was so much faster that it made me dizzy. It made the buildings blur and later fences and road signs instead. Even those were eventually replaced by trees and bushes as the world around us seemed to slow down, but not the shiny Volvo behind us. It kept a pace with Victoria, until it screeched to a stop, suddenly pulling over to let a guy is his early twenties, get out and catch up to us. He was faster than Victoria, and he caught up with her in a matter of seconds. He tripped her and then rushed to catch me. Victoria had no sooner crashed on the pavement face first that she was up and ready to fight. But the man was faster and reached the Volvo, giving himself a split second to shove me in the backseat before she was a mile away. I hit something hard and cold that strapped me into my seat. Before I knew it we were speeding down the road with a very angry Victoria baring her teeth at us through the rear view mirror. Noticing the sunrise, she darted back into the trees.

After a while I dozed off from the pain. It wasn't a real sleep, but it zoning, which was good enough for today. _I'd have to sleep sooner or later. _ I looked around the car, and there were three people staring at me, even though the car was speeding through the middle of forks, downtown forks, if you could call it that. God, it's such a tiny place. I lived here in Forks myself, so I wasn't surprised when they dropped me off in front of a cream colored house with a crack between the two halves of my house number. Someone carried me to the porch, supporting my weight because the burning was now seeping to cover most of my upper back and across my collar bone to my other shoulder. The burning was so intense that I didn't have the will to twist my head to see who my crutch was, but I heard someone tell me in a calm voice "see Doctor Cullen for some medicine tomorrow." I was on the front steps of my house when I finally tried to turn around to get a look at the face of my escort. I also found that the Volvo was gone, and that my supporter had left me lying on the porch swing. I had dazed there, not knowing what worry it had caused my mom to find me comatose on a swing with my body nearly the same temperature as outside. Doctor Cullen had called yesterday because he was worried about my attendance in school due to my sickness. My mother had asked him what the symptoms were and he explained the symptoms, a mutated form of a highly incommunicable disease. _That_ was why it was unnecessary to burn my dad's things. The most common way that you could get it was through an infected cell entering your blood stream. For example, the crescent of bite marks on my right shoulder.

Now look at where I was. The incident had occurred on Sunday night, and I hadn't gone to school or slept for the last two days. I called my mom at her work and left a message.

"Hi mom, it's Julianne. I feel a little bit better. I'm going over to see Doctor Cullen for some medicine. He knows I'm sick. He called to see how I was doing. He sounded worried. I'll be back in a few hours at most, you know how getting into a hospital is." I hung up the phone and grabbed my jacket. I paused, and decided against it because there was still a little bit of the burning running through my fingers, making me feel pain whenever I moved or touched anything, but I knew that every movement brought me closer to painkillers, and that the burning was definitely not as bad as before. Wincing as I squeezed the door handle, I felt that I would soon kiss away the painful and sleepless nights. Well, at least the painful ones.

As I was on my way to the hospital to see Doctor Cullen, I saw a jeep in my rear-view mirror and pulled over. Before I had a chance to take the keys out of the ignition, some ripped guy was at my door opening it. He motioned for me to step out. Feeling awkward, I stepped out and followed him a few steps over to his car. He lifted me up into the shotgun seat. At first I was scared, and then I saw the two faces of the couple I had seen on Sunday evening. Edward and Bella. I was relieved to see that they were alive, but I knew that something was wrong. Horribly wrong. I looked at their faces. Edward was on the right, holding Bella closely, as if she was going to vanish into thin air. I would have laughed, but Bella was clinging onto him just as tightly, only she had a horrified expression on her face, looking at me as if I were going to steal her soul or something.

As soon as I got into the car, a sweet fragrance drifted toward me. I inhaled the scent, eager to figure out the name. I sat there, content. I had died and gone to heaven. Oh, it was scrumptious, oh so scrumptious! All I wanted to do for the rest of my days eternal in heaven was to sit in the passenger seat of this huge jeep and allow myself the pleasure of the heavenly scent. They must have some sort of floral air freshener hanging somewhere. The guy who had opened my door started strapping me in to the numerously unnecessary buckles of the shotgun seat. It was almost like being in a straightjacket. I smiled at the two in the backseat. I looked at Bella for a long moment, and then realized that the smell was coming from her.

"I _love_ the perfume you're wearing. Where did you get it? I haven't smelled anything like it in my life!" I felt a grin stretch across my face. Wow. That didn't happen very often. I inhaled the scent again, hoping that she would tell it me where she got it from so I could pour it on all of my belongings. I had a sudden urge to be closer to the scent, almost like an instinct. I wanted to lash against my seatbelt, to go and sit next to her. Edward and Bella exchanged worried glances. I felt weird, I had only asked where she had gotten her perfume and now they were treating me like an alien. I looked down at the array of buckles. I didn't know how to get them undone, so I simply sat staring at her, feeling like a complete idiot. I thought about turning to face the front so I didn't look so psychotic, but the smell was so good it would be worth being sent to an asylum for. Now thinking back on it, I wondered if I looked how I felt. Wild with want. I shuddered with fear, cringing away from my memory of Sunday night. No. I didn't want to sit next to Bella. What if, even though I knew the perfume would taste bad, I decided to take a chomp out of _her_ shoulder or something? How many times would my conscience make me slap my self for that one? I slapped myself. I counted. _One…_for now, at least.

The jeep revved into motion and was parked in front of a large white house only moments later. There was a tense silence in the car. The only noise was Bella's breathing and my own irrational hyperventilating. The other two-Edward and the ripped guy-were breathing so silently and so stiffly, it looked like they weren't breathing at all. Angelical living statues. I continued to hyperventilate until I was worried that I was going to get light headed, but I still breathed through my nose to catch the scent at a safe increment.

I slowed my breathing to a more normal rate. It was Bella who broke the silence. She leaned slightly closer to me. I could smell the perfume; it seemed sweeter now, as if it were some kind of candy. I reminded myself that perfume tasted bad, resisting the strong temptation to try and lick her face to see what it had tasted like. To avoid looking like any more of a complete idiot than I already was, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath of my makeshift drug and smiled. My head relaxed on the seat.

"Umm…Julianne," I opened my eyes as she spoke. She paused to look at Edward, who tilted his head from side to side infinitesimally to show his disagreement. She seemed to decide against saying something and settled with "I'm sorry." She had leaned back next to Edward, clutching him tighter than before, rubbing her hair against his side, diffusing the scent. I could barely focus on her words. The scent of her perfume was driving me mad.

Suddenly something clicked. I hadn't been confused until she had said that. Now I was looking at her like _she_ was the odd one. _Sorry for what?_ I wondered to myself. _It wasn't like _she_ had bitten me._

"What are you talking about?" I asked her. The scent was getting stronger by the second, like a steeping tea.

The front door opened and a few people walked outside to greet us. First, there was a guy with dark hair, his arm extended gracefully to his side to hold the hand of one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever have a chance to meet. Her dark black hair was cropped short into a pixie cut, and though she was shorter than the guy she held hands with, she made some of it up to a natural height with black high-heeled shoes that accented her model clothes. She looked like a doll, a beautiful porcelain doll, but bigger; even her height-or lack thereof-accented her beauty. If life were TV, she would be the new Barbie in the Barbie commercial with Victoria jittering in the background. That thought almost made me laugh. Almost.

The second couple was arm in arm. The ripped guy from the car had unstrapped me from my seat, leaving me for the preference in company of a gorgeous blonde with legs that stood out like a sore thumb-if sore thumbs could be beautiful. _Especially_ in black skinny jeans. There were also two others. I knew that the man was Doctor Cullen, and that the woman standing next to him was his wife. Edward and Bella suddenly appeared behind them, Edward took his usual protective stance in front of Bella. With one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his other one gently braced on Bella's arms, barely touching in case he needed to fend someone off.

I got out of the car and stepped towards the others, but they looked at me cautiously, as if I was going to rip their heads off at any moment. Everyone except for the blonde one, that is. She had eyes that were-at least at the moment-filled with a passionate sympathy. They stood, eight people looking at me as if _I_ were the murderer in Seattle. They were glaring at me as if _I_ were the one who had bared her teeth at them when we were in the Volvo Sunday night. My body was still recovering, and my head was still spinning from being so close to the source of the sweet-smelling perfume. I looked at myself. My clothes were the same, I was a bit paler, but they were paler than I was at the moment. I looked down at my cheeks; I saw the fringe of the dark circles that had accumulated from the lack of sleep in the past two nights. I looked at my arm to see if any blisters had appeared. That's when I caught a dim image of myself in the front window of their house; I looked up at it to get a closer look. Then I understood. I had stepped closer to the window only to see a pale teenage girl with dark rings around her ruby-red irises staring back. I gasped. _Why were my eyes red? _Was it from lack of sleep? Stress? No, that couldn't be it. If it was, it would have had to been the whites of my eye. What was it? Whatever it was, I had desperately hoped that it had not come along with the scar that I now had on my right shoulder blade. Wait a moment. She _bit _me. My heart thumped loudly in my ears as I tried to catch my breath, but then it stopped short. I didn't hear it at all. No throbbing sound in my ear, just complete and utter silence. I was dead. I felt my knees buckle underneath me, yet I was caught by something hard, or rather, someone hard. My head was spinning. I looked at their eyes and was shocked to remember that they weren't as blood red as mine. They looked like they had been filled with liquid gold.

"I-we-you…dead?" Those were the only words I had managed to get out of my mouth since I had seen the zombie in the glass.

They looked at me somberly even though they said nothing. I felt the fear spread across my face. I started to cry. Cradled in a stranger who was at least five years older than me, I started to heave heavy sobs; sobs of hate, despair, fear, and longing. His skin was hard and cold, as mine now was. The burning was leaving the tips of my fingertips, and I put the tip of the middle one in my mouth and bit down hard on it. I pulled it out. No red-and-yellow mark, no signs of circulating blood. I screamed. The blood curdling sound of pain, loss and agony echoed off of the trees. Edward and Bella stood behind the line of people. The line stood in the way of the sweet perfume. Then, I heard a soft beating. So low, that I could barely make it out, even though nobody dared to break the silence. My eyes widened and the beating grew louder and faster, as if in fear. It may have been soft, but it was close. Desperately, I pushed my fingers to my neck, checking for a pulse. Nothing. I grabbed the wrist of the guy who cradled me from his kneeling position. I pushed my fingers down. Nothing. I rushed to each of the other people checking their pulses. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing! They looked at me calmly, except for the blonde girl. She continued to look at me with painfully sympathetic eyes. I met her gaze after checking her pulse, subconsciously intertwining my hands with hers to comfort her. A tear slipped down her cheek and she looked at Bella. I knew the feeling that hung around her. Dread and pain-especially pain. Bella blinked. I slipped my hands away from the blonde's. There were only two left. Edward and Bella. I stepped toward them, my hands trembling with horror now that they were not knotted with the blonde's. Edward looked at me, his eyes seeming to slice through my crimson irises right into my mind. He looked at me; confused, yet satisfied. He let me inch closer. The one who had cradled me followed cautiously. I took one slow step forward. Edward and Bella took a slow step back. I looked at them, hurt. They didn't want me anywhere near them. I was dangerous. I strained my ears and tilted my head from side to side, I already knew who it was coming from, but I was hoping it wasn't alone. I knew what I was. I was dead, although I could. I didn't know how I could walk talk and breathe if I were dead. Maybe I was being strangulated. I would only have to wait four minutes before everything faded and I would be chatting with Saint Peter. I tried to calm myself down by taking deep easy breaths. I was suddenly heart-stricken to remember the fact that I could breathe. That meant that I would have to wait more than just four simple minutes. I looked at Edward. Edward and the others were 'dead' too, but I could hear her heart trying to pound out of her chest as if to show me it was beating, flaunting her mortality.

I sighed and slumped to the ground. I smelled the perfume, but I was too confused to focus on the scent. My heart wasn't beating, but I could move as much as I wished. When you're sick you need rest, but I haven't slept in three days. My body temperature was certainly way below normal by now, yet the burning sensation had spiked when it did. My skin was rock hard, yet I felt as if I cold be shattered by a tap of a feather because of an overwhelming feeling regret that washed over me. There were things that I had left undone during my short fifteen years as a human.

"Julianne," it was Doctor Cullen. "I know that you are afraid, but we can help."

I stared at Doctor Cullen. "Help? What are you going to help?" I asked. They all looked at me. It was the girl with the black pixie cut hat spoke first. She was hesitant. Her voice sounded like the gentle ringing of bells.

"First, let's introduce ourselves. My name is Alice." She then gestured to the guy that had cradled me earlier. "This is Jasper." She then gestured to the others, saying their name in turn. I listened to her, trying to memorize all of their names. Rosalie was the blonde girl, Emmet was ripped, Doctor Cullen told me to call him Carlisle, and Esme was the woman who stood next to Carlisle. I had already met Edward and Bella. "…and your name is Julianne," she said, thus concluding her introduction.

I looked at everyone here. "You don't know what's going on. You want to help me, but it's _you _who need help. Victoria is trying to kill Bella!" I shouted, completely amazed at how calm they could be when they knew that the most dangerous person, the person that you **never** wanted to meet, was out to kill Bella. .

Nobody changed their disposition. They were silent, and the only face that changed was Edwards. He seemed calmer when I wasn't looking at Bella so desperately. I looked around. Nobody seemed surprised.

"We know that Victoria is trying to kill me." Bella said, not quite understanding how I knew who Victoria was.

"And the Volturi, too?" I asked. Edward stiffened and Bella winced at the mention of the Volturi. We were all still and silent. I was looking from face to face. I shifted my gaze back to Edward and Bella.

"Yes, dear. We know, but how did you?" Esme had finally spoken, and her endearment was almost enough to make me feel better. Almost.

"In the Alley, in Seattle, Victoria bit my shoulder, see?" I twisted around so that I wasn't facing anyone. I then pulled my hair off to my left side and pulled the collar of my shirt down a few inches in the back in an attempt to show off my bite mark.

"Don't you see it?" I asked, looking over my shoulder. I peered down, and there it was, the pricks were now only a crescent of shimmering scars, like a moon, but they were easily seen in the light that came from the porch lamp. It wasn't always that sunny in Forks. I continued. "She bit me and my body was burning, and then I realized that there was the murderer who had taken my dad's life standing over me, perched half-standing on the ground, as if someone was going to rip her limbs off.

"Three people came from the shadows of the alley suddenly surrounded Victoria. That was when I heard Bella and Edward arguing. Bella had wanted to know what Alice had seen, and Edward was complaining about how unsafe it was in Seattle and how they shouldn't have come. Bella said something about how what the Volturi wanted most was to see Bella dead, and then a guy in cloak, which I later learned was some guy named Felix said that she was right.

"Edward told Bella that they shouldn't have come, and then they vanished. Victoria vanished too, and then two of the three people in cloaks. That left the shortest one and me alone in the alley. She had introduced herself after I asked if she was Alice. She seemed to not like you very much Alice. She gritted her teeth so hard that I was sure that they would break. She made me remember my father...dying.

"Her name was Jane, and the other two were Felix and Caius. She had told me then that the girl's name was Victoria. That's when the other two had reappeared with Victoria struggling to get free in her arms. Jane looked at Victoria, and she was on the ground, crying. I had assumed that I hadn't looked much worse because she was a mass malicious murderer and was a tortured teen. Her face even looked like a tiny child's when the fierce hatred wasn't visible in her eyes.

"She looked horrible. Like someone had ripped out her heart."

Bella's lip quivered, and Edward seemed far off. He hugged Bella so tight I though she would explode, but she hugged him back so tightly that I thought she must have been at least part…whatever we were. I looked at them and I realized that they must have met Jane. They must have been misfortunate enough to have her eyes laid upon them as well. I continued.

"Felix told her that she had the '_common goal_' as the Volturi. When Jane let her up without torturing her, Jane struck a deal with her, guaranteeing that her life was to be spared after she killed Bella. She had said to Victoria '_So, Victoria, do we have a deal? Your life for the mortal's?_' Victoria had questioned her promise, and Jane said something about not killing people, but I think that she has something worse in mind.

Victoria thought that Caius would not approve, that he would kill her anyway, but then he told her he wouldn't and she nearly keeled over with shock. I assumed that he didn't come out of wherever he came out from very often. He looked at the night sky and decided that it was best that they all left. The Volturi were gone almost instantly, and then Victoria told me that she was going to take me to where _we_ were going to stay.

"That was when the Volvo showed up behind us in the alley. I think it was Carlisle that tripped Victoria, caught me, and took me back to my house." I looked up at the family that stood before me. Alice didn't look surprised, and neither did Edward. However, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme seemed as if someone had punched them hard enough that it would have actually made a dent on their marble-hard skin.

I turned to face Bella. She was shaking so violently that it seemed as if she was shaking her head no. As I looked closer, she was. She was slowly making her face tilt from side to side, but the trembling had only amplified it. In a voice that trembled as much as she did, she squeaked out the words "_Caius_…he was in Seattle."

We were all silent for a moment, but then Carlisle spoke. "Let us all go inside. We'll continue our discussion there."

We all proceeded inside and sat in the living room. Emmet immediately jumped over the back of the loveseat and pulled Rosalie over with him. He lounged diagonally, hugging her on top of him with her facing. She wasn't upset by his reaction, so she must have expected something along those lines from him. She just smiled half-heartedly and angled herself so she was more comfortable. I thought that Edward would pick Bella up and carry her at this point, seeing as they had always been hugging when I had seen them outside of class. It surprised me that Edward simply gave Bella a blanket and wedged her between him and the armrest. Alice and Jasper, however, didn't hesitate to follow Emmet and Rosalie's lead in a more practical way. Jasper sat down an armchair and Alice sat on his lap. Jasper then grabbed her waist and the outside of her thighs, thus allowing her to lean onto him without sliding off. He would have looked like a father holding a sleeping child if Alice had closed her eyes. Esme simply sat next to Carlisle, who draped his arm over Esme's shoulder. I didn't understand why Edward wouldn't even touch Bella.

Once everyone had been seated on the couches, I sat down in front of the television and sat cross legged, waiting for someone to speak. It was, again, Carlisle who broke the silence.

"Julianne, you are a vampire. All of us are vampires. Well, everyone except Bella." Bella hugged her blanket and shivered. Edward scooted a little bit away from her. I didn't understand why he wasn't embracing her, offering her his body heat. That's when I remembered that we had no body heat. We were ice cold, colder than Bella. Colder than Bella. I didn't quite like the sound of it. It was acidic, threatening, something that belonged in a doomsday movie.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask him. Instead of waiting for the opportune moment, I decided to shove them out to get it over with.

"Umm…Carlisle, I have a couple questions to ask…" I started. It was more of a question of permission than a statement, though.

"You can ask us anything you like," he responded.

I took a deep breath. I asked question after question. Who was James? Why did Victoria want to avenge his death by killing Bella? Who were the volturi? Why did they want to kill Bella too? Why were my eyes a vicious red rather than the dazzling gold of the vampires that surrounded me? Patiently they answered question after question. I blinked. Two plus two, that's how easily they laid it out for me. Although in this case it was probably human plus vampire plus love. Now it was their turn to ask questions.

"Julianne," Edward started, the calmness and curiosity in his voice cleverly disguised. I looked up at him. Even though you may not have been able to hear it, I could see it in his eyes. It made me feel different, like I belonged somewhere, even though I would want to murder everyone in forks. As if the calmness of his voice was my own stabbing knife to my worries. As if the curiosity was meant for a simple subject, like how my weekend was. As if the reassurance was leaking out of his voice, it made me feel calm too. _If only,_ I thought. I sighed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the want of something normal. "As a vampire, you will thirst for blood. We don't want to allow the volturi to have any more reason to come to forks than we already do," Edward said. His voice was formal, too formal to be used in a regular conversation too turn-of-the-century-ish. So far, he wasn't making any sense. That was a statement, not a question, right? It might be a command, even. I don't know.

He looked at me, seeing right through my red irises as if he were looking right into my mind. His face appeared calm and reassured. It gave me that sense of belonging, as if I were already a part of them, even though my red irises were a dead giveaway. He seemed to know that I wanted help. I thought about why everything had happened the way it did. I paused briefly at the image of Victoria that now accumulated itself in my head against my will. It seemed more vicious now that I was actually _trying_ to recover every detail. I shuddered. I was sure that he knew her already. I didn't need to torture him like Jane had tortured me.

I sighed, looking at what he had just said. I was a monster. I had feared as much ever since I had been told that I was a vampire. I was afraid of the obsession I would have to face, I was dreading the fact that I would be obsessed with drinking blood, but my human mind still recalled the memory of the iron smell. It wasn't exactly the most pleasant smell. I assumed it would be like coffee, everybody seemed addicted to it. I decided to ask another question to fill the painful silence.

"What if I never drink it, it'll be like cigarettes, right? I'll try it once and then I'll never go back." I looked up at them in despair, not wanting to succumb to my new instinct. They stared at me in complete astonishment.

"So, you don't want my…blood?" Bella asked, her face was confused, but her voice was cautiously optimistic.

"Not as far as I know. I haven't tried," I responded, even more confused. They looked at me with appraising eyes. I rushed to recover myself from a different answer than what I meant. "I don't want to drink it though," without thinking about it I was talking in my new shrill-scream voice, even though my voice was easily heard before. "Don't make me drink it; I don't want to get hooked." Irrationally, I put my hands in front of my face; as if to protect me from having someone force-feeding the blood of the human that mattered most in the world to this family. I didn't quite like the way that sounded. It had a strange ring to it, as if I were a recovered alcoholic that might snap at any moment. I felt horrible saying it, even in my, head, suddenly hoping that he hadn't been able to hear my thoughts. Now they were looking at me again, inspecting me. I tried to change the subject.

I was grasping for questions when one burned its way into my head. Edward's slicing eyes. "Why had Bella expected Edward to know if the Volturi or Victoria were in Seattle?" I asked, blurting the question out. I hadn't even given it enough thought to know if it was mine. I wouldn't have been able to tell if the question was actually mine had it not been for the sudden twinge of desire in me. The desire to know what I could do to help was eating at me from the inside. A question that someone, not necessarily my conscious mind, was allowing me to dip out to them. I looked around. Nobody answered. I looked at Edward. "You know what I'm talking about," I said desperately, grasping at straws to keep them from jumping to the assumption of insanity.

Edward looked at Carlisle, and Carlisle took it from there. "Vampires can sometimes possess supernatural…talents. Nobody knows how we get them, nor do we know how they are decided unto the vampire. You have noticed Edward's. Edward can read minds, but only the thought passing through."

"And Alice can see…what exactly?" I asked, remembering the night in Seattle when Bella had asked what Alice had seen.

"The future, but only once you've decided you're mind upon it. If your mind changes, so does her vision." He answered his voice casual and calm.

"Do I have one of these powers?" I asked, hoping that I didn't so I wouldn't have to keep one in check.

"Gifts," he corrected. "I can easily assume that the answer to be a yes, but we don't exactly know what it is quite yet," he paused, thinking for a moment. "We should probably try to find that out." He said, allowing a pursed-lip smile to show for a moment. He glanced at the clock. Seven forty-two. He looked at Edward and suggested that he should take Bella home. Standing, Edward took her blanket. He folded it, placing it over the back of the sofa. He turned around to resume their clutching position, and escorted her out.

When they left, Carlisle looked at me for a moment. He sighed, as if he were trying to do a complex arithmetic problem in his head. He glanced around the room, allowing his eyes to fall onto Bella's blanket. His eyes opened hopefully in a 'eureka' expression and then handed me Bella's blanket. "Smell this," he commanded. "What does it smell like to you?" He asked.

I held it up to my face and inhaled the intoxicating scent. I closed my eyes and smiled. I opened my eyes again and firmly said "perfume."

"What scent?" He urged.

"I can't really tell, but it's sweet, almost like flowers," I said, remembering how addicted to it I had been in the jeep. I smelled the fabric again. I tried to absorb as much of the scent as I could, even though I knew that the scent wouldn't rub off on me even if I bathed in it. It would be gone by the time I would have my next shower at longest. I thought about the concept of bathing in it. I wonder what it would be like, bathing in Bella's floral perfume.

"Do you find any attraction to it?" He asked, wide-eyed, waiting for a response.

"Of course! It's the best thing I've ever smelled. I'd get a bottle of it and smell the perfume for the rest of my life, but I don't know the brand." I said immediately.

"Smell?" He asked, not bothering to hide his scrutiny. I nodded. "But it doesn't smell like something you would…_eat_…does it?" He asked, pushing the question on me. He was clinging to every word I had said so much that he was now leaning forward in his chair.

"Of course not! That would be disgusting! It would taste horrible! Can you imagine _drinking_ perfume?" I asked, my voice becoming so high and so sharp that I blinked at myself for being rude. Was this me? Was I going to lash out like this every now and again because someone was asking me questions?

Carlisle leaned back on the sofa, putting his arm back around Esme. He was there, but his mind was elsewhere. The arithmetic face was back again. "Interesting…very interesting," he murmured to himself. His mind was definitely elsewhere.

Soon Edward was back. "I'll be leaving for the night soon, if you need me, you know where I'll be." He looked at me; his golden eyes seemed to be once again slicing my eyes. After a moment, he had the same distant look as Doctor Cullen- Carlisle, I mean. "Has she decided to join us?" Asked Edward softly. My heart raced. _Join them?_ What did they mean by that? What would I be leaving behind? Who would I meet, or more importantly, who would I have to face? Seeing my panic, she chuckled to himself. "Apparently not."

"I haven't asked her yet," Carlisle explained to Edward calmly. "Would you care to invite her into our coven?" Carlisle asked Edward. Before he could speak, Alice sat upright on her chair. Well, as upright as anyone can be while sitting on someone's lap.

"Ooh, can I? Please Carlisle? Please?" She begged. I didn't see why there was so much excitement over joining a family. Joining a family. It sounded odd. I tried the words out in my mind. It still sounded funny. I would have to wait until the shock had passed in order to actually believe it.

Edward glanced at his wristwatch, and then at Carlisle. He gracefully strode across the room. He took his seat where he had before. He gestured to Alice. She clapped her hands together.

"Julianne, wanna be a Cullen?" Her eyes were wide with anticipation. The hope in her eyes made it hard to resist, so hard that I didn't.

"A Cullen?" I stammered. Everyone knew the Cullens; either from school or the hospital, or the rude gossip. Most people had an aversion to them, but they were actually quite charming-if you gave them the chance to be.

It was Edward's turn. His eyes were slicing again when he spoke. I silently wondered if he was intent on making me feel imo. "Julianne, I know that all of this is new to you, and that you might be afraid, but this will turn out alright. Trust us. We can resist the temptation of human blood, and we'll be here to help you if you…slip up." He paused to look at me, unleashing his irises on me. The yellow color seemed to be replaced with liquid gold. "Julianne, would you like to become part of our coven?" He looked at me hopefully and then rephrased it to sound friendlier. "Julianne, would you like to become a Cullen?"

For a little while I said nothing, but then I looked up at him. "What will I tell my mom?" I asked.

He smiled wearily and asked me "how did your father die?" I looked at him for a long moment. That's when I realized.

"My dad is a vampire? Is he alive? Can I see him?" I bombarded him with questions. Edward smiled, and so did I, because for the first time all week, I knew that there was some form of hope on the horizon, even though the horizon is a long way off.

Edward chuckled. "I take that as a 'yes' then?" He asked.

"Yes." I said, relieved that I wasn't dead, nor was I going to die anytime soon.

"Yay! I always wanted a little sister!" Alice squealed with delight; she evidently approved of my decision.

"Welcome home, Julianne Cullen." It was Emmet. His voice was confident, congratulatory even. Rosalie even tucked away her sadness for a few moments to smile at me. I smiled back. The edge of her eyes quivered with anger.

"What's wrong Rosalie? What did I do?" I asked, feeling self-conscious about the way her eyes had darkened. Literally.

"It's nothing you did. It's just that I'm horrified that anybody could take away somebody's life. How somebody could just go out and snatch you, make you their follower, without even caring if you had a family…friends…dreams…"Her voice allowed itself to trail off. Now it was Rosalie who had the Arithmetic look, only it was drenched in sorrow. Her eyes were far away, yet her eyebrows quivered in synchronization with her lips, halfheartedly smiling, yet full of rue underneath. "I'll explain later," she had whispered to me.

At that point, Edward had stood up and announced his leave, reminding his family that he'd be home again in the morning. I must have looked confused, because Alice patted my shoulder. "He watches over her in her sleep, too," she had told me.

I exhaled slowly, running my fingers through my auburn hair. Julianne Cullen. Wow. The name felt right on my tongue. "Julianne Cullen." I whispered the words inaudibly except for my own ears- or so I'd thought. All of their beautiful marble faces carefully carved into angelic smiles at the name.

In the next few months that had followed, I had to lay low, pretend I was dead so nobody would come looking for me. They said I died on the road because I had fallen unconscious and crashed. Doctor Cullen had told the school and my mom that I had fallen unconscious due to the lack of my tetanus shot. My car was hidden in a newly renovated portion of their garage. It was gone, nonetheless, so it was liable that the murderer had taken the car to hide my body somewhere. At least that's what everybody else in Forks had concluded.

I spent my days doing nothing with Emmet, Esme, Jasper and Rosalie. They were supposed to be attending school on the other side of the country. It was okay, and it was good that I was being homeschooled by Alice when she got home. She seemed to prefer talking to me than doing nothing all night, so she tutored me what she had learned during the day.

Months passed by and the only conception I had of time was when the rest of my new family went to hunt. Nobody told me much of what they did when they were hunting. It was either that or they told me everything and did nothing on their hunting trips. Normally, I began to think about why they didn't just go one at a time. It was only when I began to look for it did I see that they went in groups of three or four. It held little importance to me aside of the fact that Jasper had to go the most often while I didn't have to hunt at all.

After a while, I began to notice that their eyes changed color from black to gold whenever they went hunting, but mine seemed to stay red for a long time. My eyes were still a vibrant red color, but we figured that they would be gold soon enough. I didn't want to drink blood, and I didn't want to eat real food, so I didn't eat. My body did just fine on its own. Eventually, near spring, Carlisle asked me if I wanted to go hunting. Earlier I hadn't known what they had meant but now I did. Their so-called 'hunting' trips were really times when they went out and drank wild animals' blood. They called themselves vegetarians because they didn't drink human blood. I was probably the best vegetarian, but I didn't say it out loud because I was using a childish superstition that made me afraid that it I would jinx my luck against me. I wanted my immunization from the vampire instinct that allowed me to not be attracted to human blood rather than making me thirst lavishly for it. My lips remained tightly sealed.

My family hadn't really treated me new after that. They were as pleased to have me as they were pleased to have everybody else. The only thing that had change was that Alice had gotten me a necklace. It had two sleek black chords. Both chords had half of the clasp and firm holds one side of an oval-shaped pendant. On one side, engraved in the silver with most beautiful font I had ever seen was my new name-Julianne Cullen. On the other, it had my old name-Julianne Hasetta. I had worn it so that the Cullen side showed. I thought that it was the most symbolic thing ever. I thought that it showed that I was still Julianne Hasetta to those who, for their own safety, couldn't see me again. The Cullen part of me showed, like the necklace. I looked at it adoringly as a sign of acceptance. I always wore it. _Now_ I was a Cullen.

There had been one occasion where Esme, Emmet, Rosalie, and Jasper had gone hunting, Alice and Edward were at school, and Carlisle was at the hospital, which left me home alone. The doorbell had rung. I knew that everyone thought I was dead, and seeing me with red eyes and dark rings around them wouldn't exactly help our family. I was on the second floor, hiding from the view of the window in the bathroom with the door closed, painting my nails a bloody shade of red when I realized that whoever it was that had been outside had invited himself...or herself in. I figured that is was just a group of kids that had come to 'investigate' whatever happened in the Cullen household, so I ignored it, but when they came up the stairs I became worried. They seemed to know exactly where I was; as if I was calling for help through a megaphone. The intruder scurried up the stairs, silently to human ears. Would I get caught? I thought about the worst case scenario. Someone had broken into the Cullen household, they knew where I was, and now they would expose us. What was the worst thing that could happen? Easy, the volturi. Now I wondered to myself...whose life I would I have to take to prevent Forks from the volturi? I knew I was busted when I heard someone knock on the door. I hadn't locked it, because there was nobody here but me, and that had been a big mistake. They were now opening the door. I knew that we would all have to pick up and leave if they knew I lived here, when I was supposedly dead. Much to my surprise it wasn't anybody that I knew lived in Forks, but my dad who stood there in the door.

His clothes ripped and stained with blood and dirt. He had red eyes, just like me. Father and daughter, speechless. We stood staring at each other for what felt like an eternity, and then we collapsed into each other, hugging and smiling and crying and laughing. It was our own little family reunion. He let me go to let me clean up my mess. I finished painting my nails in a split second and looked in the mirror. I froze. I stood there staring at the mirror for a few minutes. My eyes were yellow, a pure, golden color. Then it hit me. If all of the Cullen's eyes-including my own-were yellow from _not_ drinking human blood, then what _did_ my father drink?

I didn't have time to figure out. By the time I had pieced half of it together he was at my side in the mirror; staring at me as if I had run over him with a train. His expression displayed betrayal and hate. His only child, his daughter, who had seemed so alike to him in so many ways a moment ago, did not even have his eyes anymore. He stepped slightly away from me and then threw me. There was a sound like two boulders slamming each other when we collided. I was on the floor and my hard skin had cracked a few of the tiles. The expression on his face was changing. He seemed angry now. He hit me harder this time. I went straight through the wall, crushing it to pieces like a graham cracker. He seemed shocked at himself. Before I could say anything else, he was gone.

I was completely at a loss for words. My father was here and he had thrown me through a wall. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Neither did I know what else I could do but fix the wall while I waited for the Cullens to come home. I did a pretty good job, too. I had a steady hand now, and I was able to repaint it, and put up new drywall within the first six hours of the incident. I had opened up a few windows to fumigate the house because of the paint. It had taken a few days to dry, but the fumes still lingered through the house.

I had gotten used to the smell, but my family hadn't. They hadn't been expecting it either, well, Edward had, but how much of a surprise was that. The only surprise that came to me was that Alice wasn't. Couldn't Alice have been able to tell them what had happened? Everybody knew that the smell was paint, but all except Edward were clueless s to why I had painted.

"What happened here?" Edward had asked. His tone was calm, even though his face wasn't quite so much. He was trying to set the stage for me to explain what had happened.

"Family reunion," I mumbled. I felt bad about the holes in the wall, Even though the only proof that had been left to show it was the lingering smell. I looked at the Cullens, trying to stall the explanation, it would be the last thing I could live with saying to them before goodbye. I didn't want to have to admit that I might be putting them in danger. I took a deep breath, realizing with a heavy heart that I would never be able to live with myself if I was attracting deadly, bloodthirsty vampires to my family.

I explained my predicament, but Edward had to leave partway through my story to watch over Bella. Once again, Alice is not surprised. Eventually my story rolled around to the end. Carlisle had the Arithmetic face that I knew oh so very well by now. He always looked like that when Edward had quiet conversations with Alice. I looked down at my hands, unable to stand the look on his face any longer.

Rosalie had decided that this was a good of a time as any to explain how none of us had had a choice about whether or not we were to become a vampire. She told me everything. The war in the south, her 'wedding,' and everyone else's story too. She also told me through all of the bitterness how Danger-magnet Bella was going to throw everything away because there was a vampire trying to avenge her death and the volturi after her blood. She had seemed disgusted that she was going to waste it like that.

In every life a little rain must fall. If that was the how the saying went, then I was suffering a hurricane, and not just the soak-you-to-the-bone drizzle we get here in Forks. My rain? My loved ones, the only family that I had that knew that I wasn't dead, had to go out hunting again. It wasn't that I wasn't going; I was perfectly content to stay home. It was that I was afraid of who might come. If I had learned one thing, it would be that the future wasn't set in stone. Alice had taught me that, and the extreme caution in which they brought about everything was enough to show that they believed her.

Now, as I stared through the window, watching Alice pull out of the driveway, I heard a little voice in the back of my head reminding me over and over again. _The future isn't set in stone. The future isn't set in stone._ I paused, turning away from the window. _Great, the jitters. This was just what I needed._ I thought sarcastically. I decided to make my breathing even, even though I didn't have to breathe. I folded my arms, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes. I took a deep breath. _Still Jittery_. I brought my hand away from my face and reached for the doorknob. I slowly opened the door and stepped outside. The air was the same, no flush of cold as I opened the heated indoors to the hailing drizzle outside.

I closed the door and locked it behind me. I walked down the front steps, methodically slow as I made my way across the driveway. I stared out into the rain, letting it soak my auburn hair into a deep chestnut brown. It matted across my face as if I had just dunked myself into a bucket of cold water, and it blurred my vision. I breathed in and out. Calm…peace…serenity…it was like being in my own world, where vampires could never hurt anyone. Not myself, not my dad and not even danger-magnet Bella.

My temple of Zen lasted about four seconds until I was crashed into from the side. I skidded across the pebbled asphalt. Shocked, I looked up. I was staring into the face of Victoria and two others. One was a guy I had never met before. He had dark hair and a tight smile on his face. The other one was my dad. He looked at me with semi-sweet eyes, as if he were trying to hide some form of hatred that wanted to lash out against me. It was a truly depressing look. I snapped back to the predicament at hand. _Victoria! My Dad! Another Vampire!_

"Hey! What are you doing?" I gasped, still on the ground.

"Nothing that your _family_ would be happy about," my dad said, gesturing towards my necklace. He hadn't even bothered to hide the acidity in his voice. He sped towards me, but this time I could see him moving. I angled myself to the right. He stepped a little bit to the left and dashed towards me. I heard a snapping sound. Victoria looked at me with eyes that were as full of acidity as my father's voice. I looked down. My necklace was gone. I felt horrible about hiding my old self as a Hasette. He held the necklace up between his forefinger and thumb.

"Don't dad, please don't," I pleaded. He looked at it, reading the inscription on either side. He glared at the side that had my old name on it. It probably had all sorts of scratches on it from my skin. I wanted to look at my dad head-on, but my eyes kept shifting to my necklace, more breakable than a blown glass Christmas ornament within his hard, cold hands. He noticed my discomfort and gave it back to me, fixing the clasp in between his wrists. He gave it back to me with the "Hasetta" side facing outward. "Thank you, dad," I whispered.

He glared at me, but then looked at Victoria. That's when I noticed that they _all_ had red eyes. I gasped, nearly collapsing back down on to the pebbled stone. Victoria tilted her head up and then down in two quick movements that could have been missed by human eyes. He looked back down at me. He seemed to be deliberating on what he was going to do, but he simply stood there. Then he looked at where Victoria was, but she was gone. _Big surprise, Victoria disappears again_. I thought silently to myself. The dark-haired guy was gone too, without even sideways glance to acknowledge my presence.

My father glared at me. A low growl was rising in his chest. It reminded me of my first night as a vampire, cradled by Victoria. She had been running away from the Cullens. Why? My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle voice. A voice that I knew but had decided to avoid in my memories. My father's voice melted through the rain, approaching me as it had the last time I had seen him as a human. He sounded like the father that had dried my tears, the one who loved coffee, and the one who never wore his blue jacket.

"Julianne, would you like to live with me again?" He asked his voice hopeful. "We could change your mother, make her into one of us, and we could live happily ever after," he pleaded. He said the words 'happily ever after' the same way that he used to when he was alive and, you know, not a mass murderer. My expression was obviously not what he had expected.

"No! We can't just take mom's life away! Promise me that you won't do anything like that ever! Don't make her into one of the horrors that you have become!" I clutched at my shoulders, separating myself from him. That was when I noticed m hands were shaking. There was a difference from him and me now. We are truly different.

"You haven't even thought about it. Wouldn't you like to see your mother again? Don't you miss her at all?" He had pulled out the family love card. That was low, even for _my dad's_ standards.

"I miss her, of course I do, but I will not take away her life. She can't live her life if we snatch it away before she has had a chance to live it," I firmly stated. I kicked him in the shins for that one. He may be my elder, but we were both immortal now, so what should it matter?

He grimaced. The fight was on. He punched me, but I was fast and only allowed it to grate across my cheek. I yanked his hair back and jumped. I had him on the ground for now. My knee was on his neck. He seized it, sending me flying into the trees. I completely smashed it, destroying it like tissue paper. I felt my face get hot. My temper was definitely getting the better of me. I sprang immediately from my spot, horrified at myself as I realized that my body was taking over. My head felt numb, but my body was rushing around doing various attacks. Soon I realized that I was standing on the driveway with the bits and pieces of my father's flesh around me, scattered on the driveway. I had heard of some stories where mythological creatures here able to heal themselves, so I decided to try and burn the pieces, even though I was about 99 percent sure that it wasn't going to work. There were matches in the kitchen. I dashed there and back and began to collect the pieces. I lit the match and threw it on to the pile. The cloth of his woolen shirt burned cleanly, but his body produced a vile oily smoke. No blood had been spilled n the pavement. _Vampires don't bleed_, I thought to myself

It had only been then that I had realized that I had murdered my father over trying to make me happy.

Ouch.

I looked at the fire. It wasn't the best idea I had ever had. The purple smoke slowly charred his ivory skin. I looked away from the burning pieces. I started crying. How would I ever live with myself? I wouldn't be able to kill myself, I was sure of that. Not knowing where I was going or what I was doing, I ran. I ran fast. Like a vampire. I was truly a monster, the ones you see in Halloween specials, the ones that kill without a second thought. Not even a single thought-for that matter. Suddenly I heard a sound that would make _any_ vampire's blood chilled far more than it already was; a howl. This howl was a painfully sorrowful sound. The sound that had only one possible match: a werewolf. Carlisle had warned me to stay off of their land, and now I wondered how far I had gone. I was stupid to have even left the house. I stopped behind a fern and looked up. A russet brown wolf stared back at me. It seemed to know what I was running from. It crouched for a spring. I winced as I waited, but I never closed my eyes. It sprang and I watched as it ripped off part of my hand. I cried out in pain, but I knew I deserved it. I was glad it was painful. There was no fear in me, only a strong sense of relief. _Snap!_ The sound of the wolf ripping off my limbs echoed eerily back from the trees. My forearm was gone and so was half of my elbow. I reached into my pocket to find the matches that I had used to cremate my dad. I struck one and set it down on some of the less damp pine needles and my amputated flesh.

The paint on the nails caught fire quickly, blazing in the purple hue. The wolf looked at me, confused and slightly appreciative that I would make it so easy. It sighed, slightly confused. It stepped closer to me, looking at me sympathetically. _Why do you want it to be this way_? It seemed to say. He seemed to actually feel my pain. I reached out with my still usable arm and stroked its fur. I felt how it was coarse, yet soft. How it was comforting and terrifying at the same time. I untangled a small clump of his fur while I tried to bring myself to answer. I gently followed the bulk of his muscle from his neck to his shoulder, and then down to his front paw. It was huge, and its claws looked like something…from a horror movie. The wolf bent his head down, and sensing that I wasn't going to kill him, laid down beside me. I kneeled down, and he recoiled from me, as if I had just dumped a bottle of _purell hand sanitizer_ all over my body. Then he sniffed out through his nose and shook his head. He ignored my smell and licked my face encouragingly. Despite the pain, I smiled.

"Because I murdered my dad," I said, finally answering his question. I pulled my eyes away from his, trying to pry off the stub of flesh attached to the remaining portion of my elbow. The wolf, unable to shirk his task bit my arm off entirely for me. The searing pain brought another round of tears. I pressed my face into his fur and whispered "Thank-you" in his ear before I stroked his fur for the last time. The wolf obviously didn't like to see me suffering, because he snapped off my other arm in one piece.

"Wait!" I was gasping between my convulsions where I wouldn't be able to talk because of the pain. "Before I die, will you take off my necklace? I want to die, just please, take off my necklace," I was begging, allowing the words to tumble out. I was beseeching him to fulfill my last request. The wolf paused, obviously assessing my reaction. He gently slipped it off with his teeth and hung it on a low branch. I thought that he might break it necklace, but it was so cautious with his teeth. It was strange how it made me feel better. The wolf had sympathy for me. It was being as gentle as it could to fulfill my last request. Tears streamed down my face.

He resumed ripping me apart. I watched with grim satisfaction as my limbs burned in the fire. My ankles, my knees, and my thighs; I was forcing them away. Finally I lay there, limbless. With a final snap of his teeth, my existence ceased.

Now I lay in on the forest floor, reduced to ashes. I will not hate anyone else like I hate Victoria. I silently vow that I will wait for Victoria at the golden gates. I will wait for her to die. I will wait for her to go to hell. I will follow her there. I will make her suffer ten times the fate of every person that she changed into a vampire. She will rue the day that she turned against the Cullen family. _My_ family. Now I sit at the golden gates, waiting patiently for Victoria.

I was surprised at myself for even thinking these things. I looked down in shame to find my necklace wasn't there. I regretted taking it off. The first thing that had connected me to my family was gone. I wondered if murdering someone was enough to make my eyes red. I saw my reflection in the gates. They were a deep blue-with no circles. I looked at my arms to find that my slightly tanned skin was back. Huh, this _must_ be heaven.

Isabella Swan

I woke up to hail and rain. I moaned. Yesterday had been one of those horrible days where Edward had gone hunting with his family. He had come back during the night, and now he was cradling me in my arms, a little too comfortingly.

"What's wrong?" I asked. It had been a while since I had seen him this silent.

"Julianne is dead," he murmured. He explained to me what they thought had happened. I sat there, in shock and awe as he described the ashes on the pavement and in the forest, as well as the broken wall.

I couldn't believe it. Julianne was dead. I felt horrible for mixing her up in this. If I hadn't come to forks, I hadn't met Edward, and as much as I shuddered at the thought of leaving him, I couldn't bear to leave, and neither had I regretted my decision. However, ever since I saw Edward for the fist time, everything I touched went downhill. I was practically responsible for Julianne's death. Alice was crying when I went over. We had our own little funeral service for her in the forest. Edward found her necklace in the woods by her ashes. The necklace itself was tarnished purple from the smoke from a fire. A Vampire's fire, it's the only smoke that's that colour. The necklace was the only thing we had left of my little-sister-to-be's. We wrapped it around her box of ashes before we lowered it into the ground.

Victoria had something to do with it, but Jacob was in on it too. I don't know why nobody ever tells me anything until someone is on their deathbed or worse.


End file.
